


It Takes Time To Heal

by ReadytoBounce



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Anxiety, Arguments, Bonding, Child Abuse, Cooking, Family Dynamics, First Meetings, Foster Care, M/M, Panic Attacks, Parent-Child Relationship, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Trust Issues
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-25
Updated: 2020-11-17
Packaged: 2021-03-09 03:35:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,793
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27197251
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ReadytoBounce/pseuds/ReadytoBounce
Summary: When Alex and John receive a phone call asking if they can take in a kid, of course they say yes.What they didn’t know was it would be more difficult then they expected. When Phillip starts creating chaos, Alex and John start to truly understand what it means to be a parent.
Relationships: Alexander Hamilton/John Laurens
Comments: 16
Kudos: 40





	1. Chapter 1

It was a chilly October night and John was busy cooking dinner. He was making homemade pizza, which happened to be Alex’s favourite. He was humming along to the music while he put the cheese on. He won’t deny it looked delicious already. 

Apparently the music was so loud it took him a second to realize his phone was ringing. Who would be calling this late? It probably is his sister wanting to know about lunch next week.

“Hello?” John put the phone up to his ear, continuing to make his pizza. 

“Hello, am I speaking to John Laurens?” 

John has no clue who this could be. It definitely is a female, but it’s not his sister. He makes a mental note to call his sister. He would be delighted to see her.

“Yes you are”

“Oh, that’s good. My name is Martha Washington and I work with Child Protective Services. I was wondering if you could take in a kid?”

At that last sentence, John dropped the cheese bag and it spilled on the floor. “A kid?” he repeated, hurrying on to his knees to clean up the spilled cheese. They just got approved recently as foster parents, they weren’t expecting this call for a while. “How long?”

“We don’t know yet. It won’t be too long though, if that’s what you are worried about”

John immediately started looking around the house for Alex. He wasn’t in his office or the living room, so it caused John to run around looking insane. He finally found him outside planting flowers.

He hurried over to him and Alex looked up at him and smiled. His face quickly turned into confusion and he gestured to the phone. 

“Child Protective Services” he whispered. 

Alex just stared up at him and gave him a big smile. John knew Alex always wanted a kid. He knew he was ready. He would always drop hints in the beginning of their relationship about how much he wanted to be a dad. He would be pleased to take in this foster child.

They were going to try surrogacy, but they both changed their minds and decided to do foster care. Since Alex came from foster care, he was very excited to start the classes and do the paperwork. 

It’s safe to say Alex is not going to let John say no to this phone call.

“Sir, I don’t want to be a bother, but it’s a yes or no question. I need to know, like, now”

John started to freak out. He really should have let Alex take the call, he’s better at speaking to people. John is not good when placed on the spot, especially with things like this. He usually lets Alex doing the talking. 

Alex seemed to sense his worries. “Don’t worry” He whispered. “Ask more questions, we need to know more about this kid”

“Can we know more about the kid? We would like to know what we would be dealing with if we say yes”

“Of course. He has been abused in previous homes. He’s sort of a trouble maker at first, but once he gets settled he will be fine. He caused fights in a lot of homes, so I thought from your paperwork this would be the best temporary home for him”

John blanches at her words. Abuse? Fights? He locked eyes with his husband, and their facial expressions mirrored each other’s. John knew that Alex came from the system and knows all about the horrors. Could they handle this right now? 

John is a little worried about the second part of what she said. Causing fights? That’s extremely concerning. John doesn’t want to have to put his hands on this kid to stop him if he were to throw a punch. That would be horrible. 

John knows from all the research he has done that kids who go through abuse are more likely to be labeled as ‘trouble makers’. Those kids are usually the sweetest. 

He instinctively looked back at Alex to see him biting his lip, seeming deep in thought. He comes out of thought to heavily sigh. “Ask if there is anything else we should know” 

“Can you elaborate on any other issues we should know about?”

“He has some mental problems, but it’s not that bad” She says quickly. John assumes she is just saying that so she doesn’t scare them off. 

This poor, poor kid. John already feels bad for him. John also doesn’t trust the lady on the phone that much, he hopes she is telling the full truth. He doesn’t want her to sugarcoat anything. 

“What’s his name?”

“His name is Phillip”

“How old is he?”

“He just turned thirteen”

“He just turned thirteen?” John echoed.

Thirteen? 

They will be taking in a teenager. They weren’t expecting that until much later in their foster care journey. John knows that teenagers in the system don’t usually get adopted as much as the younger kids. They have really bad reputations.

He is so young, and he still had time to get his life back on track, they can’t just say no to this kid. He’s too young to have endured all that abuse. 

John really wants to say yes, but he worries they won’t be able to give him the help he needs. They did take the classes that were required to take in these types of placements, so John knows what to expect.

“One second please. I want to discuss a bit more with my husband” John says into the phone, then covering the speaker. John knows Alex is going to say yes, but he wants to discuss with him more first. 

“Okay, that’s fine. Please make it quick” 

John looks back up at Alex, and he is basically bouncing with excitement. He has a huge grin on his face, and is running his hands through his hair. John really loves this man.

“So?” John starts. “What do you think?”

“I’m thinking we have to say yes”

John agrees, but he is a little worried. “Alex, are you sure we can take in this difficult of a placement right now?”

“John, listen. We’ve got this. We will be alright”

“Alex..” 

“John, trust me. We can do this. This is our chance. This kid is being offered up like a piece of furniture, let’s help him”

With his husbands words, he calms down. Alex is right, they’ve got this. Alex always knows exactly what to say.

John takes his hand off of the speaker and brings the phone back up to his ear. John can’t believe they are going to be foster parents.

Their dream is coming true, but not in the fantasy way they expected it. 

“Mr. Laurens, is it a yes or a no?”

“It’s a yes”


	2. Chapter 2

It took a few minutes after the phone call for John to realize what they just said yes to.

They were going to be taking in a thirteen year old, and they are getting him in a matter of hours.

John didn’t know what to do, he just kept staring at the phone in his hand. He is surprisingly nervous. He assumes it’s normal, judging by the fact many other foster parents have said the same thing. 

When he glances over at his husband, he doesn’t find any signs of him being nervous. He looks deep in thought, but still excited. 

“Uhh Alex?”

“Yeah?”

“I know we are both in a state of shock, but I just remembered our spare room is a mess. Also, our whole house is a mess”

“Oh shit, we need to clean. We can’t welcome a child in to a messy house. That would be an awful first impression”

Quickly, both of them jumped up and raced back into the house. He would guess they would at least have an hour to clean their whole house up. It wouldn’t be close to enough time, but they will take what they got. 

They don’t even have any supplies for a new child. They only have stuff for them. They don’t usually have company over, so they would have no reason to keep spare things.

He did remember that Alex had some old pajamas that he was keeping, so he quickly rushed to find those. He knows that most foster children don’t come with much, he would like to be as prepared as he can.

He passed Alex on the way up, noticing that he was holding their spare bottles of shampoo. They both run into the guest room and start placing the items. 

“Holy shit, John. We need to find something to clean all of this dust” Alex coughed. John remember that his husband is allergic to dust.

With that, John raced back down the stairs and grabbed their vacuum. He turned it on and started cleaning everything in the house. When he finally made it back up, he saw Alex had organized many items on the shelf’s. 

“John! I’m going to put the pizza in! We should have enough in case the kid is hungry”

John sighed. He can’t believe he forgot about the pizza. He quickly shakes the thought from his mind. He has bigger things to worry about.

Him and Alex were about to become foster parents. What were they thinking? Could they really handle a child right now? 

John knows how long Alex has been wanting to be a father. He would speak about his dreams almost everyday. John doesn’t think Alex realizes its not all rainbows and sunshine. He really hopes this child won’t destroy Alex’s dreams of wanting a family someday.

John sat down of the bed in the guest room. He threw his head into his lap and sighed. They were about to meet their new foster child, a child who has been damaged and needs their help. He hopes they can provide what he needs. 

John can’t help but start to do the breathing exercises Alex had taught him. The reality of the situation was so overwhelming he messed up his breathing.

“Jackie, do you know where we put the extra blankets?” Alex yelled from down the stairs.

John let out a long breath. It looks like there will be no time to rest today. “I’m pretty sure they are in the closet. I’ll get them!”

“Thanks babe!”

He opened the closet door to find out he was correct. He grabbed a light blue blanket, perfect for the cold weather they have been having. He put the blanket on the bed and just as he did, the doorbell rang.

He was so startled that he fell backwards, catching himself on the desk behind him. John raced down the stairs to the door and just stared at it. He took a quick glance around the kitchen, surprised at how well Alex cleaned up. He’s never been one for cleaning.

“Is the pizza almost done?” John asks.

“Yep. Should be done soon”

“Good. That’s great”

Walking towards John to stand with him, Alex gave him a small smile. John could tell he was starting to get nervous. 

“Don’t worry. We’ve got this” John reassured.

“I know we do” Alex said, grinning.

John slowly took a few steps up to the front door, waiting for Alex to follow. Once Alex caught up, he turned the knob and pulled the door open.

They were greeted with the sight of the social worker and a boy. Their new foster child. Phillip.

John couldn’t believe how small he looked. If John didn’t know, he would have assumed this boy to be ten years old. He wasn’t expecting this.

“Good Evening” She said. John noticed she was holding a file and a small book bag. She smiled sweetly at them then steps inside. 

“Hello. Welcome. It’s so nice to meet the both of you” Alex greets.

When Phillip didn’t step inside, they both watched the social worker basically drag him into the house. Once in, he gave a stern glare at his social worker. John was taken aback by the way the kid shifted his glare to both him and Alex. 

“Phillip, these are your new foster parents” Mrs. Washington explained.

“Hi, Phillip. My name is Alexander, but you can call me Alex. This right here is my husband, his name is John” Alex says while pointing at him.

“Hello” John says, giving a small wave. He was still nervous, but now seeing the boy he felt more confident. Alex was right, they do got this.

“Phillip, we’ve talked about this, don’t be rude. These people were kind enough to take you in. Say hello”

“Hey” The kid mumbled under his breath. He didn’t seem like he was interested in them. 

“Well, that will do. Now, Alexander, John, I have some paperwork you need to fill out. It’s not much, it will be quick”

John knew Alex was going to do most of the paperwork. That’s his speciality, he loves it. John always makes fun of him about it. 

With Alex working on most of the papers, John watches Phillip look around their house. He seems quite intrigued by the paintings up on the walls. John smiles, he can’t help but hope he likes them, he painted them himself. Maybe if he’s here long enough John will paint one for him to keep.

Once finished, Mrs. Washington collects the paperwork and shoves them into her bag. She makes her way over the door and turns around. 

“Thank you for taking him tonight. We are running low on placements for him. Our main goal is to try and find a long term placement”

“Of course. We are excited to have him here” John spoke up. 

The two of them watched Mrs. Washington’s smile drop. They gave a quick glance to each other, knowing something bad was about to be said. “I wasn’t exaggerating on the phone. This kid really is a piece of work. He has a lot of issues that you both will begin to notice”

“Issues?” Alex questioned.

“Yes, issues. See, his last placement was one of our best homes. We have worked with them for years. We thought Phillip would work perfectly with them. It was fine for a couple of months, until we received a call that stated they didn’t want Phillip anymore. They have never done that in all the time we have been working with them. It was such a surprise”

With this new information, John felt his nervousness coming back to him again. He’s never heard of anything like that. Aren’t these people supposed to have the training needed? 

“Just to check, are you sure you can take him for the amount of time we expect?”

John looks back over to his husband. He looks determined, and when Alex gets determined, no one, not even John can’t stop him. 

“Oh trust me, we will be fine” Alex said, completely calm.

John couldn’t help but stare as his husband. He’s right, they will be fine.

******

Once the door shut behind Mrs, Washington, the whole house was quiet. It was unusual, usually one of them is making some kind of noise. John can understand Phillips quietness, the only person he knew just left him. If that were John, he wouldn’t speak also. 

John walked over to where Phillip was still standing. He was now holding the small book bag that Mrs. Washington was holding previously. When he saw John approach, he was quick to glare at him again.

“Okay, Phillip. In the oven is pizza, so you can have some of that if you are hungry, since it sounds like you have had a long day. It is late, so you might want to go to bed, but it’s your choice”

“I don’t want any pizza. I’m going to sleep” Phillip said, turning around to go to the stairs.

John shot Alex a concerned look. “Woah, come back here, buddy” John took a few steps to get in front of the boy. “You don’t know what the house looks like. I’ll show you around. You might not be able to-“

“I’ll be fine” Phillip cut him off, trying to move past John. John purposefully stepped in front of him to stop his movements. 

Not wanting to get discouraged so easily, John kept smiling and tried again. He knows the first week is hard. If anything, every single foster parent he has meet has said the same thing. “Okay. If you get hungry or thirsty during the night the kitchen is always open. It’s okay if you want to take a snack or two. We can always get more”

“I won’t”

“Alright. If you ever need anything our bedroom is right down the hall. Don’t be afraid to come and get us. We won’t be mad, ever”

John remembers that on the first day you get your foster child, you need to make it clear that you are not a threat. They won’t open up to you if they see you as someone that will hurt them. 

“I won’t need you both. I know what I’m doing”

That line didn’t necessarily hurt John, but he could tell it hurt Alex. When Phillip turned and went up the stairs, John was quite happy to see him go. He had to comfort Alex quickly.

“Hey, it’s okay. You know how teenagers are. Don’t take it personally. They don’t mean it”

Alex didn’t say anything, just sighed. John needed to try again, he knows how his husband works. 

“Alex, baby. I know how much this means to you. Trust me, I know. But we have to give him some time to settle down. We can’t expect to be best friends with him the minute he steps into our house”

Alex looked up at him. “I know. I just, I want to be there for him. How can I be there for him if he doesn’t want anything to do with me?”

John knew where that was coming from. Alex didn’t want to be a copy of his father.

“You will have to show it in different ways. For example, maybe he needs his water bottle refilled. Refilling it without him asking is a sign that you care. You aren’t like your father, Alex”

Alex smiles. “I know”

They looked into each other’s eyes for some time. John admired how the determination returned back to them. 

John can’t help but fall in love with him all over again.


	3. Chapter 3

That night, John couldn’t stop thinking about their earlier interaction with Phillip. In all honesty, he was not expecting that. It actually shocked him, but he didn’t let Alex see that. 

Speaking of Alex, he looks over to the spot next to him and admires his husband. He watches his chest rise and fall, slow, and can’t find it in him to wake him up. He wants to speak to him about their plan for the morning, but it looks like that won’t be happening. They’ll just have to go with the flow.

John wonders if the reason Phillip was being so cruel is that he might have gotten triggered. John guesses that with the kind of trauma he’s experienced, anything could be a trigger, such as a word or object. It’s not exactly reassuring, as John knows how long it takes to figure out triggers. With his Alexander, they are still learning. 

John has no ideas on how to handle this kid. He does remember from a class he took that when a child acts out, you shouldn’t ignore the behavior, as it might be attention seeking. You don’t want to ignore the child’s emotions. He’s definitely going to keep this in mind. It’s going to come in handy. He can just feel it.

John lets out a long sigh, then falls asleep.

*****

That morning John wakes up an hour earlier than he normally does. When he glances beside him, he finds Alex still knocked out, which is odd. Alex is always awake before him. John can already tell this day is going to weird.

He sits up with a yawn, cracking his back in the process. When something from down the hall falls, he snaps out of his sleepy state. It’s essential for him to worry if everything is okay. It seems like all he does is worry.

He briefly wonders if Phillip might be up, before shaking Alex awake. He doesn’t want to deal with this by himself. He wouldn’t want to be a terrible person and just mess everything up. 

“Alexander. Alex, wake up”

“Hmm?” Alex groaned, obviously to sleep deprived to use words. 

“We’ve got a problem. I heard something fall and it sounded like it came from Phillips room”

With that, John watches Alex shoot up out of bed. It seems during the night he totally forgot about their new arrival. 

“Oh? Did you forget? Did I ring a bell?”

Alex gives him an annoyed stare. “What did you say was wrong? To be honest, I wasn’t even listening”

John rolls his eyes. “I heard something fall and it sounded like it came from his room”

“Oh, that’s nothing. Last night when I went down to grab water, I heard something fall. After some quick investigating, I came to the conclusion the wind kept knocking his water bottle over. I tried to fix the issue, but I guess it didn’t work”

“That was very sweet of you that you tired to help. Im glad it’s nothing serious. I’m just worried”

Alex gives him a quizzical look. “What’s wrong?”

“I just hope he comes out of his room. I really want a chance to bond with him. Last night’s conversation was horrible”

“I totally agree, love. But just remember, we need to give him some time”

John blinks. Why does his husband always have to be right?

“Also, I was just- Oh shit! I’m late for work! Jacky why didn’t you tell me?” Alex scrambled out of the bed, trying to get to the closet, but John wasn’t having it.

“No, sir, you will not be going to work today. You can’t leave me alone with this kid”

Alex must figure that he’s right, because he calms down and moves away from the closet. John is honestly a bit stunned. Getting Alex to stay home from work has always been a battle.

“That’s fair. I’ll text Washington and tell him I can’t make it. He won’t care. We should probably wake Phillip up soon”

“No, I don’t think we should. I think we should let the boy sleep. From what I gathered, he’s had a rough couple of days”

Alex nods, which signals John that the conversation is over. He steps out of the room quietly, not wanting to wake Phillip. When he gets down to the kitchen, he starts on coffee. They are going to need it.

He quickly sends out a text to Washington, confirming his break. John was given a week break due to injuring his arm really badly. That week break is definitely what he needed now that they have a new foster child. 

He supposes he can play some quiet music to wake him up for the day. He swiftly finds his morning playlist and presses play. 

He was wondering why it wasn’t playing, until he heard it blast through the house. 

He quickly ran to shut off the speaker, but it wasn’t one of those ‘tap and it’s off’, it was one where it took three steps just to get it to shut up. He continued his pursuit even while dealing with listening to Alex’s annoyed yelling.

By the time he accomplished shutting the music off, he heard the sound of a bedroom door creak open. Nice work, John. You already managed to screw up. It’s not even nine yet. 

He listens to the patter of footsteps coming down the stairs, and is soon greeted by a pair of angry brown eyes. 

“Good Morning Phillip” John pants. He never knew shutting a speaker off would be so much work. “Sorry for waking you up, I was just trying to play some music. I promise mornings aren’t usually this crazy”

“I was finally fucking sleeping for once, and you had to go and play your annoying ass music. I’m pissed, but it’s fine”

Woah, language! He’s never heard such language from a thirteen year old before. Usually they are always on their best behaviour near adults. This is new, and he certainly won’t use the same language back to him. 

“I’m sorry, Phillip” He chooses to ignore the language. There’s no way he is going to make this situation worse. “I didn’t know it was going to connect to the speaker”

“Well, you should have looked and saw that it was”

It’s noteworthy that Phillip never drops eye contact while speaking. It’s obvious he has something against John. He can’t figure out why, they’ve only known each other for a day at most. 

Surprisingly, John has never heard of any foster care stories with children that are like Phillip, so he has no clue how to handle this. He glances back over in his direction and finds that Phillip is still glaring at him. His heart clenches in his chest. No one has ever made him feel like such a failure before. 

“I’m sure I should have, I’ll remember that for next time. It was just an accident, kid”

Phillip rolls his eyes. “Yeah, okay. Whatever”

John sets down two cups of coffee on the counter. He hopes Alex will hurry up, as he is not equipped to handle Phillip by himself.

He knows for a fact he can’t let Phillip walk all over him. John guesses that in his previous homes they allowed that, and that’s why he acts the way he does. They are going to need to set rules, to remind him who they are.

“Hey, Jackie. Good morning, Phillip. How did you sleep?” Alex says, walking down the stairs and into the kitchen with them. 

“Hello, Alex” John greets, happy that his husband has finally made it down.

“Well, honestly, I was sleeping well until this genius decided to blast music through the house” Phillip declares, moving his hand to gesture at John.

“It was an accident, Phillip. It won’t happen again. Besides, it’s your first night here. You’ll have other nights where you can sleep all the way through”

“Whatever” It seems like that is going to be his word of the day. John expects to hear more of it. 

While doing morning chores, John’s mind finds itself thinking about the different interactions he and Alex had with Phillip. It seems that Phillip is more respectful towards Alex, not bothering to curse around him, keeping some of his manners. 

He would be lying if he said it didn’t discourage him. Having a kid hate you when you are trying your best is not a fun feeling.

He decides not to bring the situation up with Alex. He swiftly glances over at his husband, and finds him smiling at Phillip, teaching him how to work the television. It’s such a sweet sight, knowing his husband finally got what he has always wanted. John would never in a million years ruin his husbands happiness.

It just sucks, knowing you are already failing. 

******

With some sneaky glances, John determines Phillip is low on clothes, and has no pairs of pajamas. The sight of Phillip coming down the stairs from sleeping still in the clothes he arrived in was a cause for concern. It’s completely unacceptable that they didn’t show him the closet with the extra pair. 

He knows the mall close to their house has many options that a teenager might enjoy. Maybe he could convince Phillip to tag along with him? He doubts it. The boy definitely doesn’t trust them yet. John’s understands, if it were him, he would be terrified.

He gazes over at Phillip and does the mental math of what size he could possibly be. It’s clear to see how Alex and Phillip are almost the same size, so his husband must have something that doesn’t fit him anymore. 

He rushes up to Alex’s closet, opening it and going to the very back. He knows his husband, and everything he refuses to wear stays in the back. Finding a nice looking top for him is very straightforward. It’s a old hoodie that looks to be in style, it’s perfect. 

Next up is pants, and John curses internally. He doubts Alex has any old pants, but he can try to look. 

“Uhh, I’m sorry to interrupt you stealing my clothes, but why are you doing that?” He hears a voice from the doorway question.

It’s Alex, standing in the doorway with a quizzical look on his face. Now that John’s thinks about it, he does seem sort of creepy going through his old clothes.

“I’m trying to find clothes for Phillip” John answers. “I checked in his room recently, and I’ve noticed he’s hung nothing up on the hangers”

Alex’s face falls. “That’s horrible. I know what it’s like to have nothing” He walks over to him, crouching down to his level. “Let me help you, I’m sure I have old pair somewhere in here”

“Are you sure you do? I mean, you don’t really grow” John teased.

Alex glared at him. “I’m sure”

They wind up finding one pair of old sweatpants. They must have been in there for a while, as they have collected a grand amount of dust. John makes a mental note to have a cleaning day where they get rid of old clothes.

John leaves Alex upstairs and returns downstairs to seek out Phillip. He finds him in the same spot they left him, watching television. 

When John look up at the screen, he notices that Phillip is watching a strange show in another language. He doubts Phillip knows this language, so he wonders why this is his choice of entertainment. 

“Seriously, you don’t have to sit here and watch this show. You have permission from us to do as you please”

“I know. I like this show”

John finds himself not believing that. “Can you even understand what’s being said?”

Phillip turns his gaze away from him, then back up. “No”

It takes all John’s strength to not laugh. It’s pretty funny, but laughing would probably cause an argument, and he does not want that.

“Okay, whatever you say, kid. Anyways, I have some clothes for you” John sets the clothes down on the table in front of the television. “It’s not the best, but it’s the best we have right now. You were kind of unexpected”

“I know I was” Phillip states, getting up to take a look at the clothes. 

“They are just temporary. Maybe I can send Alex out to get you some more”

“This is fine. Hopefully I won’t have to be here long”

John’s eyes widen at that. He wants to leave already? Have they done that bad of a job? His words sting, but he’s lucky Alex didn’t hear it. That would have broke his heart, he probably would have cried for the rest of the day.

It’s for his own good that he doesn’t tell him. It’s not technically a lie, right?

John doesn’t get a chance to respond back, as Phillip dashes to the bathroom with the clothes, presumably to try them on.

“Hey, babe! How’s it going!”

John turns around to find a giddy Alex behind him. It seems like so far he is loving being a foster parent. 

“It’s going fine” John takes a deep breath. “Everything is fine”

His acting doesn’t work. His husband knows him too well. “John, you aren’t telling me something. What’s going on?”

Just as he finishes saying the last word, Phillip emerges from the bathroom. John looks him up and down, he looks quite strange, with a bright yellow hoodie and dark blue sweatpants. 

He doesn’t have any shoes, but that’s the least of the concern. John wishes they had more time before he came, maybe they could have gotten something better. 

Alex smiles at Phillip, and looks back over at John. John knows what he’s thinking, they are both on the same page. They don’t want Phillip to look like some charity case.

When John’s stomach grumbles, he realizes it’s still morning, which means they need to eat breakfast. Honestly, Alex and him aren’t big on breakfast, but they are going to have to start being. They have a child in there care now.

“Phillip, since it’s still morning, we are all going to eat breakfast. Is there anything in particular you want?”

“I don’t care. I’m not hungry”

Now John clearly knows that’s a lie. He can hear Phillips stomach rumbling from a mile away. They need to get some food in this kid pronto.

“Please, buddy?” John tries again, hopeful it will work.

“No, shut the fuck up. I don’t want anything”

John’s face falls and he just sighs. He can’t say the reaction was unexpected. When he glimpses over at Alex, he can tell that it wasn’t expected for him.

Alex meets his eyes, giving him a look that says “You didn’t tell me about this behaviour”. John looks away, ashamed he didn’t say anything.

“Phillip, how about you eat a little bit, and then you can return upstairs to your room?”

Phillip takes a second to think about the offer, then nods. When he looks over at John, he just rolls his eyes. John can’t help but feel angry at the response. How is Alex doing this? It seems so easy for him, Phillip is a totally different person with Alex. 

Alex strides into the kitchen to show Phillip the breakfast cabinet, where they keep their breakfast food. Slightly Eavesdropping on the conversation, John can hear Phillip decide on cereal. He watches Alex take the box down for him and grab him a bowl.

He peers at his husband and foster son. They look like they were meant to be together. Alex is doing such a great job at this parenting thing, and John can’t seem to get anything right. It hurts, it really does, as he has wanted to be a parent also. 

It sucks watching them. He desperately wants to go over and help, but he decides against it. He would just be out of place.

He sends a quick text to Alex, then heads out for a walk to clear his mind. He must be overreacting, he shouldn’t be getting this upset over a foster child they’ve know for such little time. 

They are only a temporary placement. Once they find a proper home for Phillip, he’ll be out of their lives forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you’ve enjoyed this chapter! Thanks for being so patient with me! Next chapter should be up soon. 
> 
> Leave a comment! Tell me what you think! They always give me more motivation!

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you all enjoyed!!
> 
> Leave a comment telling me your thoughts! :)


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